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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27925561">this is where we're supposed to be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmadeofstardust/pseuds/allmadeofstardust'>allmadeofstardust</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WidoJest Confessions [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ep. 118 Spoilers, F/M, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Love Confessions, Platonic Kissing, Spoilers, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:42:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27925561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmadeofstardust/pseuds/allmadeofstardust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb had to find out about Jester &amp; Fjord at some point.  He just didn't count on how much it would hurt.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>WidoJest Confessions [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this is where we're supposed to be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Now that Fjorester is officially canon, I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering about Caleb's reaction to it.  But I also wanted to explore Jester's opinions too.  This is a kinda-sequel to my previous WidoJest fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>One moment Jester was there, holding her hand out, channeling her spiritual weapon.  She was confident, and sure that they would all get through this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next she wasn’t, thrown across the room by a wayward swipe of the monster, and Caleb could feel the unanimous flood of rage amongst everyone around him as they echoed his own anger, and they pressed forward, doubling down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw Fjord running for Jester in the corner of his eye as fire grew in his fingers, as he heard Yasha’s battle cry, saw a glimpse of Beau as she unleashed her fury, and the next thing he knew the monster was down and the battle was over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all turned towards the sound of pained coughing, and saw Fjord on his knees, gently lifting Jester into his lap as she grimaced in pain.  Her side was coated in blood, but she was awake and upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stupid, I’m so - ”  She collapsed into coughs again as Fjord supported her.  “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, did we beat it?  I barely got a hit on it.  Oh, Beau!  You’re hurt, I can - ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moved to get up and fell back almost immediately.  Caleb knew he wasn’t the only one who saw the palpable concern on Fjord’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually,” Jester said, weaker this time.  “I think I might be a bit low on spells.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Caduceus offered, breaking the tension and taking a step forward, but Fjord waved him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, let me.”  There was a strain to his voice that was new and fresh, and Caleb recognized it.  He had felt the same way too.  A strange emotion began to pool in his gut as he watched Fjord rest his hands on Jester and heal her wound.  She let out another small cough as he finished, and looked up into his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Fjord,” she smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told your mother I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>protect </span>
  </em>
  <span>you,” he replied, and Caleb knew this wasn’t the first time he’d said the words.  “You can’t - I won’t let this happen again, I swear it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not exactly your fault that thing got to me, is it?” Jester teased.  “Besides, I’m fine, see?  Like I said I would be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord ducked his head towards hers, foreheads almost touching, as if the room around him didn’t matter.  Just as well.  Caleb was watching like no one else existed except Fjord, compassion in his eyes, and Jester, with fresh love slipping into the smile on her face like honey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise,” Fjord whispered.  “I’ll be there for you.  No more of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> in our future, Fjord,” Jester answered quietly.  Sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a beat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Our</span>
  </em>
  <span> future?” Fjord breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester nodded, and kissed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb barely registered the small cheer that went up in the group.  The affirmations, the congratulations, the money exchanged as bets were settled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tunnel vision, centered around Jester’s face as she laughed with the others.  As she looked happier than she had ever been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt...he didn’t know what to call the souring war of bitter hurt and genuine elation that was happening within his chest.  He took a step back, feeling nauseous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cast a small smile in Jester’s direction, but no one seemed to notice him as he walked away, to the edge of the room, mumbling some excuse about examining the body of this horrific monster.  Staring at its grisly features took his mind away from the here and now anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lost track of the time that had passed - funny that, he always knew those details, what was his mind </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> - before he felt a hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damnit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Jester?” he replied, forcing himself to look up at her beautiful face.  She was smiling, beaming even, but her eyes, focused on him, looked sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can - can we talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about?” he asked casually, gesturing to the floor beside him, in the middle of the open room, desperately hoping she just wanted to discuss the fight, or their next move, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> other than what he dreaded she was going to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant...away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb glanced over at the rest of the group, who were settling in for a short rest before they kept going further.  He spotted a small recess of the walls, tucked away behind a cage.  He nodded in its direction with a sinking feeling in his stomach, and she followed him over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb,” she began.  “Remember...back in those caverns.  When you saved me, and you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the floor, wishing it could swallow him whole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it matter what was said?” he asked, pleading with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does to me.”  Her words carried a weight to them that forced him to meet her gaze.  “Caleb, I - ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jester.”  He took her hands in his and squeezed tightly.  “I am a man with silly dreams and a despicable past.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb, you know I don’t - ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jester, you have found someone so wonderful.  He is </span>
  <em>
    <span>blessed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have you.  You should not spend a single waking second of your beautiful precious life worrying about someone as miniscule and unimportant as me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester let out a breath.  He searched for pity in her eyes, but there was nothing but warmth and compassion there.  Of course there was.  The sight made him smile, and the action seemed to satisfy her slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a good man, Caleb,” she said softly, squeezing his hands back.  “You aren’t unimportant.  Not ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathed out a quiet laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you,” he whispered.  “For you both.  You’ve grown, in more ways than the literal one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestured to her longer horns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he said, letting her hands drop gently.  “Follow that light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stared at him, examining him closely, before moving her head slowly forward.  He slipped his own to the side, not daring to look her in the eyes as she kissed him softly on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nuh-uh,” she chastised him, a singular finger hooking his chin and turning his face gingerly to meet hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t expect the kiss, nor did he expect it to be as gentle, as kind, as </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> as it was.  He closed his eyes tightly, felt his hands curl against the fabric of his coat, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>treasured</span>
  </em>
  <span> it.  Every beautiful fraction of each second, as he allowed the love in his heart to overflow, refusing to think of the end of it, of the future without this.  He forced it all away in favor of taking this small favor in, letting himself love and cherish this beautiful and wonderful and magnificent woman in the brief moment he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester drew away first, and Caleb didn’t want to open his eyes.  He felt her run a thumb down his cheek, and it caused his heart to skip a beat.  She waited.  She gave him that blessing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, his surroundings came back to him.  The stench of the dead monster, the iron tang of the room around him.  It was currently six in the evening.  North was behind him, slightly to the left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester was standing before him, a genuine smile on her face full of compassion and even a little bit of pride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“T - thank you,” Caleb managed, once he found his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t say anything.  She didn’t need to.  He knew the path that had just been laid out before him, and she was not on it.  She was happy, someplace else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still.  He would cherish that kiss for the rest of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded to him, then turned and wandered back over to the group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb stayed where he was for as long as he could.  He felt...stronger.  As if he could face the heartbreak with bravery, and not cowardice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Caleb!” Beau called over.  “You gonna join us or not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heaved a deep breath.  Focused on the sounds of his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walked into a certain future.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm all-made-of-stardust on Tumblr!</p><p>Title is from Fortress by Bear's Den, a fitting WidoJest song.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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